


Hp Baby

by Moskovie



Series: Fricky Frack it's Crack [3]
Category: Attack on Titan, Shengeki no Kyojin
Genre: Body Pillows, Crack, I'm likw drunk i dunno, Inside jokes, Is this Attack on Titan or Harry Potter, M/M, My Strange Addiction, Parody, Romance, absolute bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7863052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moskovie/pseuds/Moskovie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is utter bullshit but my fronds and I were joking around like four two months ago while watching cringy My Strange Addictions and Britain's Got Talent fails. So basically Eren has a not-so hidden obsession with Harry Potter, his boyfriend calls in some help and shit goes down. </p><p>Or </p><p>HarryPotterboo Eren Jaeger and his boyfriend not understanding what the shit is happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hp Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CreativeDestruction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeDestruction/gifts), [Nightmares101](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Nightmares101).



> The original name was based off of Buffy The Vampire Slayer; Eren The Wizard Slayer, but thats incredibly dumb and piece of trash called it HP Baby, so that won. Also this is shit, and I need bleach. 
> 
> -Drink Bleach Homie. 
> 
> I am sitting in sparkles.

"What the hell is that?" A very confused midget assked his boyfriend. "Or um, actually who the hell is that?" 

"Oh Levi, meet my other boyfriend, his name is Harry. harry Potter." Eren says wrapping his arms tighter around the object. 

"No Eren that is a body pillow."

"Yessss, and my other boyfriend." 

Levi facepalms so hard, it turned on John Cena. He would be more mad about the whole situation if Eren fucking Jaeger wasn't making out with a pillow. But college days happen to everyone. 

But never the Harry Potter phase. 

Okay maybe there was a Harry Potter phase, but it just means you're a bit of a lolly. Whatever the fuck that means. Levi suggests that the term is a Justin Bieber and dog lovechild. 

Levi sits on the couch next to his over-occupied boyfriend and tries to take the pillow. Eren pulls Harry away. 

"Don't touch him." Eren cowers in the corner of the couch, and hissses, and swats Levi's hand away. 

"I think it's time to call the specialist." Levi turns to the non-existant camera, as if in the office. Duh duh dhuhhhh. *duhhhhh. 

5 minutes later...

"WHAT YEAR IS IT?" A very drunk Hanji brusts through the door, "YEEEEE!!!" They ran around the apartment looking for the year. And ends up finding some pink socks and wearing them as gloves. 

Weird noises in the backround*

"WhY Is DA BOI, Macking on Harry?!??!!" Hanji Screeched. 

Ah yes the specialist. The Hanji creature breaks into a four legged sprint over to Eren and paps his face with the pink sock glove hands. 

"YaS YaS, problems with this one, *pap pap* iT NeeeDdds DOCTER!" Hanji then ran around in circles. 

"I am the only normal one in his whole story." Levi moans, Eren does as well. "Would you stop being turned on by a pillow?" Levi question life, (as much as the author). 

"NEVER, AH, HP BABY!" The pillow cringes under Eren's grip. 

It has been through so many times, Levi knew the feeling. Not of being through it to many times, (though that too) but mostly the cringy dead inside feeling. NOBODY TELLS HARRY SHIT! 

"I'm going to go raid your room." Levi tells Eren, whom is still mouthing Harry. 

"Mmm!" Eren replies."Get my magic custom wand if you know what I mean." 

"Motherfucker I am your magic custom wand." 

"But I LOVE HARRy!" 

"I LIKE STARWARS!" Levi runs and brusts into Eren's office room, only to be greeted by most nostolgic sex toi Hp collection, it made Levi tear up a bit, not only because of some of the legit memoribilia, but because of Eren's dedication to his HP baeby. 

Now if only Levi could have that dedication. So he steals Eren's Drarry doujinshi and his custom ebay house scarves. 

"EREN! please love me like you love Harry." 

Eren magically shows up out of no where. 

"But I love you more than Harry, because you me back." 

Hanji screaming about Polla in the backround*

The gay sons then made out then and there saving their problems. 

8====D 

"I used to have an obsession with Harry Pooter but thanks to HpbaeGone, I am all cured now, if you have an obsession with Harry Potter get some help, because YOU CAN be cured."  
-Eren Jaeger International Harry Potter obsession survivor poster child. 

"I am still fucking crazy, I like socks on my hands, but Levi burnt them, but I'm not gay. Kazoo kid helped me threw my snuggles, *snorts struggles, that and J-T Perry, Jakub Saggytits and Sharkira." -Hanji the poster child for mental illness (the author needs a therapist) (inside joke: I'M HERE, I'M QUEER, FABIAN, AND DIESEL YAOI, I AM CALLING YOU OUT.) 

"I am just here." Levi. 

8=====D€=====8 : Das gay :)))

Since then Eren has had no further mentle obsession with Harry Potter, he and his boyfriend Levi AckerBOI continue to live happily (because they're gay af) and with only subtle warnings on approching Hanjis, they now live in John Cenaville with their two Ginea pigs and have a good sex life. 

 

THE END. 

Eren still has his Harry Potter body pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> Man if you're not the two pieces of garabage I wrote this fo, why have you made it this far? I don't even understand. But you're probably as dead insie as I am. 
> 
> I am so sorry. Kind of.


End file.
